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See all posts for August2017

Double does not mean two of one

  • August 31, 2017
  • Fasion Health & Beauty Food & Drink Life Travel/Nature
  • View all 0 Comments
Why...

Am I surrounded by nitwits who fail to understand the difference between twice and double? I recently drove 1,200 miles in a car race around Spain and this entailed my wife and I stopping every night in a different hotel... each booked with a double bed. However most of the time this meant I slept in the San Andreas Fault line as hotels seem to think a double bed is just two singles shoved together. It isn't. Their restaurants certainly know the difference in price between a magnum of champagne and two single bottles. On the other hand, a double burger is a double sized patty not two measly bits of beef the consistency and size of a beer coaster stacked one on top of the other.

..and another thing (continue to read this post)

This ain't my first rodeo

  • August 17, 2017
  • Life
  • View all 0 Comments
Why...

Do people assume that not being in the first flush of youth means I'm naive?

My spam inbox is of course awash with notices of my having inherited a fortune in Hong-Kong, asking to send money to a friend stranded in Cairo, helping corrupt government officials in Nigeria, to my recent favourite, I am about to be sued for sexual harassment unless I send money to a lawyer to settle (at least I think that one is a con)! As they have been caught in the spam security net thank God I never get to read them....or I might take them seriously.

However it's the face to face one's that amuse me. Last week I visited Villa Romana Del Casals which houses the most astonishing rooms full of ancient mosaics I have ever seen.

As my wife and I took the long walk from the car park to the entrance, appearing out of the glaring sunlight, a young guy steps forward with a guide book.

"Latest copy. U.N.E.S.C.O sanctioned book. €12."

It looked well produced but was heavy and I wondered if I needed to carry more crap in the car. He then blew it:

"There are no signs once inside. Without it you will not understand."

Did he seriously think a site as famous as this would have no signage?

  • Once inside the Roman Palazzo it had displays in every language in each room
  • As we got closer to the site the same guide book dropped to €8 and came with a lemon squeezer! ....and yet
  • I still bought it! But the point was I knew he was ripping me off but he got a point for chutzpah. He probably thought I was senile.

I have been offered diamonds on the streets of Rio - if you really think you are going to get a bargain 4 carat stone from a stranger you clearly are gullible enough to believe that Jersey Shore is not scripted - but just breathe on it. A diamond will dissipate the humidity fog in under three seconds, a fake takes twice as long.

A student at Bangkok Airport said he was collecting as many different airline boarding cards for a charity competition (the bar code on your boarding card has your passport and credit card details on it) and once in The Philippines I was offered by a very persistent 10 year old kid a pair or Ray Bans that belonged to General MacArthur's (er...that finish was not around in 1945).

..and another thing (continue to read this post)

We'll always be together, Forever, ? In Electric Dreams...

  • August 10, 2017
  • Life Sex Technology Travel/Nature
  • View all 2 Comments
Why...

Do I not shed a tear for the death of the combustion engine? From 2040 with the banning of all diesel and petrol cars, the UK has scheduled it to go to the great garage in the sky. Even earlier in Norway... but they have Santa power that allows Ingrid and Lars to visit the entire globe in one night on a sleigh, so they are not worried. However under current technology this swap-over just ain't going to happen. Those boffins at the UK's National Grid already have a problem at half time in a big football match when the Brits all flick on the kettle for a cuppa. Imagine what 9 million cars all charging at the same time in will do? That's before we work out where we will find enough lithium to make all these batteries as well as work out how to transport them without blowing up. A small question here dear reader. If a lithium battery can blow up in transit, what makes it not catch fire when subsequently in use? No no no, I still give a huge bow of respect to the propellor head's who Elon Musk has corralled together at Tesla, but the knee jerk reaction from the other car makers to buzz down the same electric path is wrong. Hydrogen, the most plentiful gas in the universe must be the long term answer. Water out your exhaust pipe, fill up time same as petrol and no one has a monopoly on the stuff. In a hundred years, electric cars and Hybrids will be seen with the same affection as other backwaters of transport; the steam car, the Segway and Wankel engines.

..and another thing (continue to read this post)

When customer service absolutely positively has to be destroyed overnight...

  • August 4, 2017
  • Finance/Law Life Technology
  • View all 2 Comments
Why...

Does my courier company sometimes think I'm psychic? Not only must I know when their little websites tell me my goodies are on the van, when in reality they aren't,  even if they are due to be delivered over a 13 hour time spread from 6am to 7pm, it's just a guide. I clearly would not sit pining for the delivery van all day and half the night when I really know the window during the day he will come, so can arrange my day accordingly. The company also knows I get a tingling in my head on those days the driver gets lost or fancies a quick one with that lovely lady at number 22 and joshes to say I was out anyway and could we do it all again tomorrow. My how we laugh at that one! Now, as my courier thinks I still believe in fairies, unicorns and that La Donald is not bald, I must also have faith in Customer Service.... a contradiction in terms right up there with New Classic, Civil Servant and Gourmet Pizza. Nevertheless after three days of hide and hide (nothing to seek) I give them a call. Punching in more numbers and data than on a battalion of lottery tickets I eventually get a voice that asks again for all the same information… only to be put on hold… listening to music so awful as to make me bless Kenny Gee. But hope springs eternal and just as I am about to hang up some one chirps: “I am putting you through now"…  to listen to more music. The call centre based out in Ulan Bator might offer to call me back and if by some miracle they do I note the number is withheld. God forbid a customer might want to initiate contact! When I get to be king any customer service (yes you BA, Vodafone, Insurance claims departments, etc., etc.) that does not have listed names with emails or direct phone lines will be made: A)to cut the White House Lawn with nail scissors and then B)to pick up the cut blades with tweezers.    

..and another thing (continue to read this post)

What is rss? "rss" is about getting live web feeds
directly to your computer.