Want to know when I publish the next blog?
If you want to sell me something, don’t steal my time
Why...
Do companies blather on for eternity trying to convince me to buy the latest wonder; be it a drug to change me into a rampant teenage sex God, an electrical thingummybob to turn my stomach into ab heaven or gel that could grow hair on a billiard ball.
In each case the purveyors of this snake oil somehow believe that teasing out, in a thirty minute commercial, what we really want to know (ie price and what the miracle is made from) will be a help to their pitch.
It’s like they are performing a verbal striptease, teasing us with removing one piece of information only to reveal another layer rather than the ultimate goal!
Who on earth thinks this works? I would love to know the percentage of those people who click and start to watch these video versions of a shaggy dog story to who actually get to the end. 5%?
I’m about as likely to watch this endless drivel as I am to pay Elon Musk to be on TwiX or whatever he calls it.
...and another thing
I still see the return of offers I have already blocked, because the same content has just been forwarded to me by someone else. Hopeless.
...and another thing
If I am being profiled for must haves, the current profiling is about as accurate as a blindfolded archer.
...and another thing
I am neither bald, incontinent, needing to lose weight, require a bigger gentleman’s sausage, need to monitor the temperature in my freezer or require new hi-if speakers, exercise machines or a new yacht; let alone review a list of destinations I need to see before I die…. that I have already visited.
However I am open to:
- Next weeks Euro lottery numbers
- The private cell phone numbers of quangos and bureaucrats who need an arsekicking
- How to stop hair growing in my nose and
- A chance for me to select someone for a one-way ticket to Mars.
...and another thing
If you think Facebook is bad, I made the mistake of looking at communications that have gone directly to my spam. I am furious. I had no idea how much money I have been left by unknown relatives or benefactors who know I am deserving of their largesse, let alone the mountain of prizes awaiting my collection.
For some reason I also seem to be very big in Norway as I have enough communication in Norwegian to keep a UN translator busy for a week.
...and another thing
And yet I am no Luddite who continually moans how much better life was when we communicated via pigeon post or smoke signals.
Like with most problems of our modern life, the overuse of social media is caused by lack of self control.
So, if you click off this blog and unsubscribe, I have only myself to blame!
Stay safe
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