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It’s all about kit
Why...
Are we obsessed with accessories? It doesn’t matter whether it’s macrame or motor cars, fishing or falconry, shooting or skateboarding, any hobby is really about the kit. I have been a scuba diver since before I got my driving license. I was actually taught to dive by the crew from Jacques Cousteau’s Calypso while on R & R anchored in Bandol in the South of France My equipment consisted of a horseshoe like vest that was the precursor to a BCD jacket. I had a depth gauge, mask, fins and a crude weight belt with a simple hook and eye clasp. Tank was hung over my back with a webbing like belt. Didn’t even have an air gauge. Just a coat hanger like lever to pull when air got tight and that was my safety reserve! I was diving here in Malta last week in balmy autumn weather with people looking like knights in suits of armour. Dry suits, rebreathers, knives, torches, compass, dive computer, electric dive scooter, emergency tank, booties, gloves, and I’m sure a couple of people added a kitchen sink to the dive bag attached to their waist. All this clobber was there for one reason. Kit. Every time a diver enters a dive shop there is always something there ready to separate you from hard earned cash. New kit is katnip. It can be as simple as a ball on a rubber ring that fits around your tank and you can flick to make a banging noise to attract attention right the way up to a full face mask with radio walky talky ability. I’m amazed that Deliveroo are not on speed dial to deliver extra goodies while hanging around at a decompression stop. The same endless list of goodies are available to snowboard and winter skiers, parachute jumpers, golfers, fishermen, classic car enthusiasts and cooks. I have drawers stuffed full of kitchen gadgets that at one time or another seemed essential but are now just future landfill.
...and another thing
Collecting things that turns into an obsession seems to include tattoos. People are turning themselves into human doodle pads with barely a square inch of flesh left clear. This puzzles me. Have any of these people seen an old person’s skin? Unless you have enough plastic surgery to mean if you cough you butt hole shoot’s up your back, skin wrinkles. That tattoo of your girlfriend is going to look like Keith Richards when you get to sixty. In fact your whole body is going to look like a water colour left out in the rain. Clearly tattoo removal is going to be a business to invest in. And finally I see some people covered in tattoos moaning about lack of funds due to a cost of living crisis. Are the hundreds if not thousands of pounds spent on using your body as a sketch pad the best use of limited cash?
...and another thing
Talking of human skin, I suspect the only hobby that does not have kit is being a nudist. Whilst I must admit to occasionally skinny dipping in the privacy of my own small pool, the idea of sharing my space with a hoard of undressed people mostly overweight and well past the Adonis like figures of youth, fills me with horror. In fact perhaps covering up those bodies with tattoos might make sense.
Hey ho pip pip.
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