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Michelin stars need to shine a light on their black holes of Calcutta
Why...
Do fancy restaurants insist on the loos being as dark as a coal hole? My wife complains she can never find anything in her handbag, let alone have enough light to touch up her war paint. As for me, after a few glasses of Bordeaux, these black holes are an obstacle course. More than once I have returned from turning wine into water with a bruised leg or burgeoning black-eye.
...and another thing
Of course this assumes you can work out which loo you can go into.
Quite apart from the often confusing signs as to which depict the Gentleman or Ladies restroom, there is now the added confusion of sometimes they are all rolled into one.
I’m sorry but I see zero benefit to the majority of people to have foisted on them in their moments of solitude and reflection, either a member of the opposite sex or one that changes direction as frequently as a weather vane in a tornado.
...and another thing
Perhaps a relevant line is from My Favourite Year which was a fictional account of a week in the life of Errol Flynn (in the movie, he was called Alan Swann).
He is horrified to learn his appearance on Sid Ceasar’s Show of Shows was going to be shot live, something he has not done for two decades. In fear of having no chance of retakes he gets very tanked at a fancy restaurant in Manhattan just beforehand.
A very drunk Alan Swann (Errol Flynn) rushes to the bathroom to relieve himself. Finding himself in the ladies with no urinal he decides to take a leak in the sink,
A finely coiffured lady of the ‘Mink and Mercedes’ set enters the bathroom and is horrified at what she sees. Recognising the famous actor she says:
“Mr. Swann. This is restricted to ladies only.”
“So is this Madam, but occasionally I have to run a little water through it,” he says with a grin still holding his manhood.
At least it was bright enough for the Matron of New York high society to see the star’s pride and joy!
…Hey ho… pip pip
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